For uni, I'm having to read Jane Eyre. At first, I hated it. But after I got beyond the first 9 chapters, I've got quite into it. I'm nearly half way through. They're playing charades at the moment if you've ever read it.

I think that even in Jane Eyre time, whenever that was, men were also stupid.

If you've never read it, I'll fill you in.

So Jane Eyre was a bit of a prat as a child, but then she got used to being at this school for kids who didn't have parents and who needed God to turn them into nice people. She stayed on for two years to teach, too.

At eighteen, she decided she needed away from the school and so went and worked for Mr Rochester in another town and was governess to this little girl he had his staff at his country mansion look after while he trotted about in France.

You see, he'd been in love with this French opera dancer (make sense of that if you can) and he'd bought her stuff and paid for her lifestyle basically. She had a kid, said it was his, then he found out she was sleeping with God knows who else. But because he felt bad when the French opera dancer ran away, he took her little girl and moved her to England to have a nice country upbringing.

So Jane was employed to teach her, because Jane spoke French.

Mr Rochester comes back to England for a bit, and he seems to be a bit of a git.

Anyway, the mad lady in the attic (there's a mad lady in the attic, by the way) set Mr Rochester's room on fire while he was home, and Jane saved his life. So he was all, "OH, how may I ever repay you?! You saved my life, you sexy beast you!" and he was holding her hands and so on, which was quite racy for back in the day. So naturally Jane, who is quite plain and not terribly attractive, obviously got quite excited and thought, "COR, I quite fancy Edward!" Or as they would say in Jane Eyre's time, "Forsooth! I am quite quite in love with Mr Rochester!"

Because that's how it works. You fall in love if someone holds your hand.

The next day, Mr Rochester buggers off to hang out with his cool pals. One of whom is Miss Ingram, who is, as Mrs Fairfax the housekeeper tells Jane, a bit of a stunner.

Mr Rochester brings Miss Ingram home and lo and behold, she is a bit of stunner. And because Mr Rochester is a man, he obviously ignores Jane and acts all lovey dovey with Miss Ingram.

He LET Jane think he fancied her. He held her hand, he looked her in the eye, he said he would forever be in her debt then BAM! Here's me and Miss Ingram. Who he pretended to marry while playing charades and said to her - while Jane was within earshot - "Well, you are my wife now."

How's poor Jane meant to feel? She has to see him all the time. And then he turns round and he's all, "Well, actually, hen, I have a new woman. And she has bigger boobs than you."

You can't DO that Mr Rochester. You can't let a girl, who isn't the prettiest of girls and hasn't had much to do with boys, think that you like her when you plan on running around with someone who is much better in social situations, who is much livlier than she is and who has bigger boobs and everyone loves.

It's just not fair.

Posted: Thursday 11 January 2007 20:13:51