It's the day again. Where card shops are full to bursting with red hearts, and couples get to flaunt their coupley-ness at all the singletons...

Valentine's Day.

I hate it. I really, really do. Most of this is probably to do with the fact that I'm a bitter old woman, and have never received a Valentine's card. Well, that's a lie. I got one, once. From someone who used to read my column and felt sorry for me because I was whining about never having received a card covered with hearts and "I love you"s.

I don't see why romance should be saved for one day a year. Surely it's more romantic for a bunch of flowers to arrive unexpectedly? Or for your man to turn up on your doorstep and sing a song written especially for you with no notice whatsoever?

Wow, that'd be amazing. Ever since I found out that Tom from McFly wrote All About You for his girlfriend, I've wanted someone to write a song for me. That would be wonderful.

All of this being said, I'm far too practical for romance. I remember the ex once saying something along the lines of, "If I'm lucky enough to be the man you marry..." I very nearly burst out laughing. We'd only been together for about three months, and I was sixteen. He was an odd one, that one. Kind of scary. And there was that time that he turned up outside my house in the middle of the night, and I told him to sod off, I'd been quite happy sleeping.

He was forgetful, too. This is the same one who presented me with a bunch of flowers left over from his cousin's wedding on Valentine's day. No card. Nothing. I fell asleep while we were watching a movie at his house that night. Yep, that was my red hot Valentine's Day.

That is definitely why I hate this Hallmark holiday. It just brings back memories of, "Did you just snore?"

"No, don't be silly. I have to go home now."

I am a total embarrassment to myself.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Posted: Tuesday 14 February 2006 17:09:45